hormones and million other little things

i can’t believe i did this.  i’ve prided myself on not doing this.  but throwing everything in to the pot and then piling on some more crude, i did it.  i argued and cried and melted completely down on the phone with my g.i. joe. 

it’s not like i’m the first or the last who melts down and has at it when on the phone with their g.i. joe.  but we have prided ourselves on having such good communication and cherishing each phone call and not letting the little things pile up and ruin the phone call.  but today, today was just one of those days when the whole world decided to climb on my plate, make itself comfortable and crank up the pregnancy hormones.

it was a stupid argument.  it was ridiculous because he remained calm for so long, even through all the ‘honey, i understand, but there’s nothing i can do about it and to be honest, i’ve had a really bad day,’ and my continued nagging and outrage.  but then he hit a point and it was done, we had had our first argument of the deployment.  it’s not like it was over something big or that he slammed the phone down or hung up on me.  but when i did get off the phone with him, i felt about 2 inches tall and about 4 years old.  and then came the tears.

it’s not that i question God and His plan or think there is some alternative motive, but with the pregnancy hormones, a toddler, visiting my parents, and a million other little things, today was just the day that wasn’t meant to be.  and so, as i sobbed over my leftover spaghetti and hastily typed out an apology, our little man sat next to me, rubbing my leg and telling me it would be okay.  and at moments like that, i know our little man is more than army strong.

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